STICKS AND STONES
I would venture to say that each one of us has encountered some sort of “bullying” in our younger years. We were teased because of our clothing, hair, or glasses, height or weight. It was a struggle with the pressure, and pain of belonging. It’s possible that some of us were so afraid of being bullied that we ended participating in those acts on others, to draw attention away from ourselves.
Today’s young people are overwhelmed with bullying and teasing on a different level than most of us ever did. With the introduction of the internet, social media, and the increased pressures of body image and status, many more young people today are admitting that they have encountered bullying both at school AND online. It has become more difficult for this generation to just throw out the old saying “sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me.”
Parents hope that their children will just come out and say that they are having issues at school. However, many times, children won’t want to tell anyone about their issues. Just like any shameful thing, they will not involve their parents. So how do you know if you have a child who is experiencing bullying? Signs to look for include, but are not limited to:
Today’s young people are overwhelmed with bullying and teasing on a different level than most of us ever did. With the introduction of the internet, social media, and the increased pressures of body image and status, many more young people today are admitting that they have encountered bullying both at school AND online. It has become more difficult for this generation to just throw out the old saying “sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me.”
Parents hope that their children will just come out and say that they are having issues at school. However, many times, children won’t want to tell anyone about their issues. Just like any shameful thing, they will not involve their parents. So how do you know if you have a child who is experiencing bullying? Signs to look for include, but are not limited to:
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During this break from school, it’s good to help them work through relationships at school, but also the signs of cyberbullying. It can have a major impact on a young person’s mental health. Adolescents who are the victims of cyberbullying are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, and academic difficulties. According to one study published by JAMA, “young people exposed to cyberbullying are at a 50% increased risk of suicidal thoughts than their peers.” Another study published by the Joint Research Center found that “more than half of all children surveyed had experienced cyberbullying in some way.” It can seem overwhelming to think of your child experiencing these things as a parent.
If they are encountering bullying or targeting, summertime is an opportunity to give students a break from toxic scenarios with friends and enemies that seem to be a detriment to your child’s mindset. However, the social media game will ramp up when they are absent from school, so closely monitoring their screen time can help them decompress from the pressures all around them. Help them break away from their devices, get some fresh air, participate in sports, spend time in nature and find time to relax. Helping them find something that they are good at, or enjoy will give them an outlet to be successful, and help take their focus off of the problem.
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If you feel like these problems with bullying are escalating, then you definitely want to speak up. Mean and hateful words can turn into threatening and frightening language that needs to be addressed by adults in order to ensure everyone’s safety. You have every right to contact your student’s school, speak directly with their teacher(s), as well as contacting the other student’s parents. You don’t need to get into a fighting match yourself, but it is very possible that the parent has no clue how their child is behaving, it is good to give them a chance to remedy things. However, if you are still not satisfied and the situation feels dangerous, then it is time to inform the police. Grandma always said that it is better to be safe than sorry.
Parents can seek outside help if the problems with their student persist. But the ultimate answer for resolving these issues is found in helping your child find their confidence, and by being reminded who they are. Helping them over come their anger and fear builds the confidence and resolve that “no weapon formed against them will prosper” (Isaiah 54:17). That is done by helping them find their identity in Christ. Young people need to be reminded that the words and actions of bullies CAN be canceled. Yes, bad things can happen, but understanding that they are a “child of the most high God” (Psalm 82:6) who “commands His angels concerning them” (Psalm 91:11), will help them remember that they are not alone. It’s only when we start to believe those negative things, that they have power over us. So, remind them that a bully’s words are NOT true, but what God says about them IS. They need to cast down all the negative words or actions and replace them with the assurance that they are loved by you, and by God. He said He would never leave them, or forsake them (Hebrews 13:5), He wants to see them be victorious, and they are protected by Him. There is power in praying protection over them, as well as helping them learn to pray for themselves. |
Bullying will always be a problem in society. Jealousy, envy, anger, evil and spite cause hurt people to hurt others. But those issues can’t affect us unless we LET them. Those words SHOULD roll off of our backs because we know who we are. I know a teacher who used to ask her students who were struggling with their identity, “are you a purple elephant??” They would respond with a giggle, and a no. It seemed like a trivial question, but it held a lot of weight. Why would we let the enemy, or anyone trouble us with statements that weren’t true. Kids need to brush off accusations of ugly, stupid, fat, short, four-eyes, or anything else for that matter. They aren’t purple elephants, they are a child of God, and they “can do all things through Christ who strengthens” them. (Philippians 4:13).
Getting involved locally:
There are many different ways that citizens can get involved in the educational process. Schools are asking for participation in many different ways. The schools along the corridor have made school board meetings readily available for the public to watch and participate in. Together, we can contribute time and attention to our young people. Below is a list of opportunities:
-Attend a board meeting (virtual): Bennett, Strasburg, Byers, Deer Trail
-Run for school board positions
-Write your local superintendent
-Attend a board meeting (virtual): Bennett, Strasburg, Byers, Deer Trail
-Run for school board positions
-Write your local superintendent
- Bennett * Mrs. Robin Purdy
- Strasburg * Mr. Dan Hoff
- Byers * Mr. Tom Turrell
- Deer Trail * Mr. BJ Buchmann